The Twilight series is horribly written and undeserving of the hype its been given.

I've scarcely slept







and in four hours I'm supposed to be up and moving.









Sorry world. Shittiest blog I've ever written, and it ends here.

Fashionably late introduction.

Hi there. I'm Savannah. Yes, like the city in Georgia. No, not like the grasslands. About thirty seconds ago, when I was thinking about the petty aggravations in my life, I decided I would introduce myself to the blogging world. Or, my blogging world...which consists of Ashley Kay. (Hey, Ashley.)

I was born on August 25, 1990. (Do I make you feel old? Just curious.) I was adopted at 3 months of age, raised in a lovely little Christian home...until I was woken up, at the age of 11, to go watch my father die of lung cancer in a filthy hospital. Such an untimely death. (Please don't pity me. Death happens fairly often these days.) --Pretty much the basics, in a nutshell, to the end of the beginning...which rapidly led to the evolution of my character.

My mother, whom I love dearly but often claims I am ungrateful for her. (I am so fucking horrible with displaying my emotions, so apparently I exhibit a heart of Novocaine.) She tries to control who I'm friends with, because she thinks I'm mildly retarded and can't make decisions for myself. Two of my best friends, my most loyal and true friends, she (thinks she) has banned from my life about 3 years ago. To her, I guess people don't change. She doesn't know much about me, in fact, she insists that I am scared of snakes when it is the one fear I don't have. It's a strange relationship, we are such opposites. Speaking of fears, I'm scared of everything. (Except reptiles. In fact, I just collected a few dead lizards as an art project. Creepy? Maybe.) I fear the ocean, I fear the future, I fear heights, I fear death, I fear public speaking, I fear insects...your average phobias. Now, I might have to scratch some of those because I very recently found a way to eliminate my phobias. I turned my fears into fascinations, I am easily intrigued, and I'm seeing the aesthetic value in my fears rather than the negative potential. I also have textural OCD, or something...a nail scratching paper makes me gag, silk makes me cringe...it's odd. To you. It's the norm for me.

It took me forever to be contented with my views, but now I have my beliefs and I stand by them firmly. (Of course, like the rest of us, I'm still full of curiosity and I still seek the truth.) The day before yesterday, I realized I am smarter than my uncle. He's like, 46. I'm generally a pretty conclusive person, and I base my judgments on solid evidence, I can support everything I claim. However, I hate it when people criticize the indecisive, because many cases (for example, abortion) are two-sided and will always be two-sided. I believe that if people learned to accept that some issues can never be resolved, but perhaps compromised, we would be a couple steps closer to peace.

Society is my nemesis, especially where I live. A small, superficial, conservative town infested with ignorance and naivety. I absolutely fucking hate it with everything I have. I have one more year, and I am leaving as soon as I get the opportunity, I don't care what it takes. I refuse to put up with that place for longer than what I have to. I hate seeing life as nothing but trying to survive, I hate looking at society's lifetime schedule: School, School, Job, Career, Retirement, Death. I like to think we live for more than inhaling, exhaling, digesting, and moving. I hate small talk unless I know it can be used to evolve into a meaningful conversation. I like independent people who stay true to themselves, not the kind that conform to society or conform to nonconformity. (I like what appeals to me.)

Now, I enjoy stupid, pointless quotes, I've never found a quote that has actually meant something to me. A guy I bumped into through the interweb wrote something in one of his blogs that pretty much summed up how I feel about living.

"I cannot stress enough the need to live life to its fullest and live it in truth, not to treat life as a long waiting room, because there is no reason to believe there is anything after it, this is the only shot we can be sure of."

-- Aaron. You can view his profile here.

So that was my time killer. I usually feel like a douche for talking about myself, but my response to anyone who feels that way is: Tell me about yourself.

I've never met an asshole at a rock show.

Confused about all this...

Am I not comprehending?


I'm not the type to believe in Jesus or petty Christian rules...

But, practice what you preach. Seriously.

))<>((

So, a friend of mine was talking about a recent breakup and how his friends told him that he should keep his heart in his back pocket.

I told him that it wasn't a very good idea to keep it in his back pocket, because if he sits down, it will break before he remembers he left it in there.

He told me I was right, that instead he'll keep it in a treasure chest.

I told him that if I were him, I'd keep it in my wallet. That way, it'd always be with him when he knew to use it, and always be hidden when he needed it to be. (Let's hope no one steals his wallet.)

Conclusion: He decided to keep it in his chest so he can keep living.

To Cursive: Art is harder than Hard.

I took a survey today, through MySpace of course. I turn 18 in a month and this survey has been the only one curious about who I will vote for, and here will be my answer for anyone who asks:


23.)who are you voting for? (Brittany, you're too young to vote.)* I'm not voting this year. I'm not voting NOT because I have no opinion, but I'm not voting out of protest. I won't take part in voting for candidates that are either set on criticizing the president / idealistic optimism about change, or strategies that are ultimately ineffective / within a party that is lost when it comes to terms with itself. Until these adults can learn to work together to seek what's best for this country, I'm not voting.




*The girl who filled out the survey before me answered "Obama." She is 16, and quite the follower.


P.S. = Ashley Kay, it is spelled "mural." :)

I want my first tattoo to be of Conan O'Brien.

Today's selfish rant about social issues regarding nothing but my own petty exasperations:

I can't decide whether or not I've been being a recluse or if my friends have been secluding me. Maybe a little bit of both. I don't care. Things were different in Colorado, everyone somehow found things to do and made sure everyone was involved. (And we drank one time, whereas my Texas friends drink every day of their meaningless lives.) I'm happy for myself, I'm done being social if it means being someone I'm not (I sometimes find myself trying to be acceptable to them, like refraining from speaking of things I enjoy and appreciate because I know their superficial minds wouldn't understand or, to be frank, give a flying fuck.) And I'm done being social if it means potentially impairing my health.

However, I do have one friend and one friend only who fits every single aspect of the definition of a "true friend." We hardly ever beef (the only time we have was my fuck up, but we put that behind us very quickly) and we agree on each other. She has yet to let me down, go her.

Myeh. So, the first paragraph doesn't matter. A) It's whatever, I'm leaving this dump, stat, so relationships are temporary and, sadly, won't mean too much to me when I'm gone. B) I have a great friend whom I cherish and that's all I really need.

So heartfelt, so moving.



I'm getting snake bites after I leave. (By then I'll be old enough.)
So, there's that.

I've lost all my creativity for the day (probably because since my return from Denver, life has been...not so eventful...). Also, I'm rather sleepy.

I'm eating peanuts when I'm not supposed to be.

...sorry teeth. Sorry for ruining you.

I move to Austin after I graduate next year. I've felt a desperate need for a cultured environment for such a long time. There are so many things wrong with where I am now. Ever since I came back home from Colorado, I've felt not at home. It's Summer, and I'm not enjoying myself. I'm just trying to get through this summer and senior year, I'm not letting close relationships progress...because I feel like my presence here is so temporary. This place isn't home, not even close. This place is temporary living space, until I move far (enough) away and start living my life. Really living my life, not just trying to pass the time. So, there's that...

And here's my obsession with The Watchmen.
When I was younger, an older friend of mine introduced to me a graphic novel which I could never put down. It was (is that proper tense for this paragraph?) called The Watchmen. I recently came across the trailer for the upcoming film adaptation of the novel, and this wacky feeling of shock and excitement rushed through my veins! (Ha.) So I retrieved the book through the internet and am currently re-reading it. So much nostalgia. Here is the official trailer, via YouTube for all you nitpicky yuppies.





For the curious: The song played during the trailer is "The End is the Beginning is the End" by Smashing Pumpkins. Great song, another nostalgia boost.

I just realized that John Mayer looks like he tastes good

A while back I stumbled across a blog about ten very rare clouds, it was shockingly interesting...I'm still in awe of the beauty nature can produce.

Click the picture below to view blog:

So naturally, I never win arguments with my mom. She either is right, ends up guilt tripping me, or pulls the "society says adults rule over your 17 year old ass" card. But I discovered that I've been winning one argument every time it comes into discussion: Religion. I figure that because, at the end of every argument, the following words are said: "You just have to have faith."

I take no part in religion. My mom is a Christian, and she's one of those Christians that pull "rules" and shit out of their ass. It's strange. For example, I have a friend who apparently believes that since he has a different level of relationship with God than others, he can party and drink. People surrounding me CONSTANTLY make these crazy "rules" up, I find myself constantly asking, "Says who?" or "Did I miss something during all those years of Sunday school?" or "Can you really get a permissive note from God himself saying you can drink because you're more special than me?"

It's not just Christianity I take no part in, it's every religion. Of course, I feel more obligated to argue Christianity because it is the faith I was born into. There is a sizable amount of reasons I choose anti-religion, none of which I will post because I envy believers.
I must add to my friends who continuously hound me about it. I respect your faith and beliefs, please respect my lack thereof.


Well, I had a dentist appointment today. Jesus friggen Christ are my teeth fucked up. In need of a root canal, molar pulled, wisdom teeth pulled, and some fillings. Sooo expensive. And...I'm scared.

Currently listening to: (album) Consolers of the Lonely - the Raconteurs

I get bored, and make profiles.

Currently listening to: Half Nelson soundtrack. Couldn't find it on any torrent site. It's a great soundtrack, and a great movie, I suggest buying it on iTunes. (Better soundtrack than Garden State, maybe?)

No one will read this, but I simply created this for shits and giggles. Also as an experiment to see whether or not I gradually become insane from talking to myself. Or typing to myself, if you will.

So, I've yet to see it. Haven't had time / money / transportation. Unfortunate for me, so I've heard. Apparently all the hype is legit...but trusting the judgment of my friends is difficult for me, so I recently looked at the ratings on watch-movies.net and it was rated 86%. Which, I feel, is inadequate in comparison to what I've heard. So I'm waiting for the DVD to come out I guess, and I'll be the one loser who hasn't seen it...because I don't want to watch any shitty bootleg version that could potentially sabotage my judgment.

I recently returned from Denver. It was my super-exciting vaca of the Summer. I never take vaca's. (I hate when people call them "vaca's.") Flew via airplane, not for the first time but for the first time in a while. The flight was more confining than when I last remember. It was a great experience, I'm from a small, superficial town where art, culture, and modernism aren't recognized. It was a magnificent transition coming from such a bland little town to an abundant, tasteful city. The altitude got to me a little though. I met people there that are so much different from the ones I know. It was strange, being able to express my views without criticism, being able to appreciate and explore all aspects of art without feeling alone, and playing board games for shits and various daytime activities without looking forward to regularly getting drunk. (Where I live, people party constantly because "there's nothing to do." One place is just as boring as the next place. I've discovered WikiHow and sobriety, it's working for me.)

So we visited museums, visited the mountains, ate a lot of food, cooked a lot of food, and various activities that didn't require money or booze and it was juuust fine. I had a lot of fun.

Needless to say, returning was...so unfortunate. (And I found out that the day after I left that Red Rocks was playing the movie "Labyrinth," which made matters more unfortunate.) I grew more and more bummed out the closer we got to home. Now it's nothing but nostalgia and looking forward to graduation, because I know exactly where I belong.

(Well, I'm not planning on moving to Denver...Austin, perhaps.)

Quote of the day: "I think it is history. I think it is racist."
--South Park, debating whether or not the historical yet racist flag should be changed. Portraying indecisive citizens.